I’m a Caged Ghost - Timothy Arliss OBrien

poem read by Timothy Arliss OBrien

I’m a Caged Ghost
Timothy Arliss OBrien

Remember when we thought the Holy Ghost
was visiting us in that little old dusty church

As we both looked down at your hands and saw the stigmata scars?

I’m afraid I won’t fall in love with this string quartet
that I’m composing 

before the deadline rushes up on me
and blows past. 

I’m so scared I’m out of time 

And the fear is making me throw little fits like a brat. 

But summer is over and it’s time to get serious again. 

There’s little autumn leaves 

On my third floor 

Window sill 

And I wonder if they are scared of being so high in the world still
but detached from the tree. 

I’m so close to achieving it all. 

god damn, I’m so fucking close. 

But I’m hurting all the people that have been sent to heal me

And I’m lashing out like a feral caged creature 

Because of my orphan wound. 

(Or some other pseudo-psych bullshit I’ve heard on TikTok.)

I’m lying on the couch crying to Bon Iver 

While writing poetry 

Praying to Hephaestus that I can 

Forge this life into something useful. 

It’s all just self-defense 

Until you’re building a weapon. 

and now I've clocked 1000 hours in the forge

And I’ve built a whole fucking cage.

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